One of our readers asks, what exactly is dating and if you don’t talk about it does it just go away?
So, some sort of generalized formal definition is in order. Dating, in it’s most general sense, could be any time when you are not seeing a movie alone. Or put another way, you are definitely not on a date if you are seeing a movie alone.
The problem is that the definition varies for everyone, and usually when it’s most convenient. I remember being younger and thinking that “dating” implied something serious. But after the first time hearing it used casually when someone described someone that they had sex with briefly and I became confused. I think it just sounds better when you don’t want to seem like you are a slut to say you were “dating.”
But the interesting part of this question is the second part. If you don’t talk about dating, will it just go away? Is the first rule about dating…don’t talk about dating? For the most available future options, I would say yes. Talk serves one purpose, definition. Definition serves one purpose, communicated agreement. “Dating” talk between couples defines the project and affirms some, at least minimal, level of commitment. But if you ask me this kind of talk is better reserved for a few months into it. Premature “defining things” talk can stifle the spontaneity of the thing and fuck up your escape route.
