Not to promote infidelity, but the NY Times has a piece today on the rarity of monogamy .
"Yet as biologists have discovered through the application of DNA paternity tests to the offspring of these bonded pairs, social monogamy is very rarely accompanied by sexual, or genetic, monogamy. Assay the kids in a given brood, whether of birds, voles, lesser apes, foxes or any other pair-bonding species, and anywhere from 10 to 70 percent will prove to have been sired by somebody other than the resident male."
Yeah, yeah. We all know this by now. But who listens? Seems like everyone is still convinced there is “the one” out there that will be “forever.” Why can’t we look at relationships like short blocks of goodness that go as far as they go? We’d all walk away happy if we lowered our expectations.
This is the girl now… I think the problem with thinking of relationships as short blocks of goodness is that each partner has a different definition of “short.” By the way, what you’ve written terrifies me. Just the other day, reading about some douchebag cheater guy who happens to live in LA and go to a bar that I once went to and thought, “Wow, the guys in here are pretty cute,” I thought to myself, “Oh my god. Is that what guys in LA are like? Is this what I’m going to have to deal with?” Which was followed shortly by an examination of my past serious boyfriends, all three of which I was nearly 100% certain would never cheat on me, and then the thought of, “Am I due? Is that what’s going to happen? I haven’t dated a total asshole yet, so now it’s my turn to get totally duped?” You have no idea how depressing that thought is to me.
I don’t think there is only one “the one.” I think that’s a silly idea. But I do think it’s possible to find someone (or multiple someones) that you can be happy with forever. Admit it, Dude (is that what we’re calling you on here?), if you found that super hot philosopher chick who fucked your brains out and wasn’t crazy, you’d be into her for a long time.
p.s. why the fuck are there ads for a christian dating site on our blog??
Good points. But also, I’m not saying deny your instincts or feelings. If it looks good, go with it. I’m saying be realistic. Most everything has an expiration date. But I realize there is a fine line between cynicism and realism.
The ads are changing pretty constantly. Wish there was better control but “bad dating advice” covers a lot of sleaze I suppose. What to do…